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Decisions being made and my heart adjusting to the path ahead.

It’s September and I will not be renewing my visa to stay on here at IHOP-KC. It was the decision I expected, but it being final is strange and a bit overwhelming. Reality hits and suddenly I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I know that I will initially go home to Norway, but beyond there, in terms of what my next stop on the journey God has me on is, I have no idea. I know what is in my heart, but practically....no clue.

I have peace though. I guess this is what it means to have peace that passes understanding, because I don’t understand the peace I have, but it’s there and I’m grateful. It’s been a strange couple of weeks. Sometimes it feels like I am all over the place in terms of my heart. I go from feeling a twinge of excitement about the limitless possibilities ahead, to waves of sadness as I realise that when plans are made for the OneThing conference or anything happening after 13th of December, they are things I won’t be a part of. Friends hearing the news come up to me and express sadness at my leaving and it makes me feel so loved...I knew I was loved by many (whom I love so dearly too), but I realise more and more how blessed I have truly been. When I asked God for friends when I moved here, He answered in abundance!

The challenge is: how do I keep going 100% and not slow down and get into the mentality that “I’ll be leaving soon”, and walk in that combined with the desire to make every minute I have here the next few months count? How do I find a good balance between getting as deep as I can in Jesus and in prayer and at the same time make sure I have good quality time with friends I won’t be around for much longer?

So far my strategy has been: one day at a time. And it seems to work so far.

It feels like I’ve been here before, at this place in life I mean. Yet another crossroads. But it’s a different crossroads. Another point of pressing into God asking Him for direction, asking Him where it is that I can love Him best, where it is that I will walk in the fullness of who He made me. I don’t know where the journey is taking me, but I continue to trust. Trust that the plan has been made and that it is a good plan. And in the waiting I choose to fix my eyes on Jesus and walk as someone who is “seeking for a homeland”, a pilgrim on this earth.

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