When your day-to-day is hectic and full, it is sometimes easy to forget and look forward to that which deserves a lot of “looking-forward-to”. On Monday I fly to Brazil. A trip I am and have been really looking forward to, but also a trip which has in moments be far from my thoughts, because the trip itself seems so far away. And now it’s almost here.
I am going to visit a city which carries a place of home in my heart. When you live for years somewhere, I think it becomes part of who you have become, and ends up leaving a permanent mark on your life. Fortaleza is one of those places for me. A city I love. A city I lived in for seven years, which truly formed me, and was such a huge part of growing me into who I am today, and hopefully forming in a good way how I live and think and love people today.
I am who I am today, because of who I became through living and working there.
And now I am going back to visit. It’s been 21 years since I first set foot on Brazilian soil, 12 years since I ended the chapter of having home in Fortaleza, and 5 years since my last visit. So it’s time. It’s always a good time to visit the places that fill our hearts, although not always possible as life keeps going, and time and money often set a boundary. But the tickets are bought, and the time has been set aside, and on Monday I get on a plane Fortaleza bound.
I expect the two weeks to be full of matando saudades (literally: killing the missing) which is an expression of having missed something on a deeper level. I expect sunshine and getting “warmed through” (we just hit winter temperatures here where I live in Norway, and I don’t seem to manage to get warm). I expect to catch up with dear friends I haven’t seen for years, going to a wedding, enjoying the many flavours of Brazil which I miss and love, and seeing the Brazilian beaches which are stunning. And I expect to reconnect with the heart of God for this beautiful nation.
And I hope to be a blessing. I hope that I can encourage those I see, both old friends and maybe new ones I make. I hope to be able to serve and strengthen the amazing work my friends do there in bringing life and hope to the poorest in the city. And I hope to love God and people well.
Many thoughts and feelings as I gear up to go, and even if it’s just a “short” two-week visit, it feels different from travelling as a tourist to a new destination. It feels a little like returning “home” yet not really.
But Monday is still a few days away, and although my attention visits the “looking forward to going” place, there is still today, and tomorrow and Sunday. Days of work and people and meetings and shopping and a birthday and packing… and then getting up really early to head to the airport.
And so I need grace to be present today; present with each one I meet and converse with. And yet, I think it’s ok to occasionally let myself feel the butterflies of excitement and “looking forward to”, because it brings a smile to my face. And a smile is most often something that lifts others, and brightens the day of both those observing it and those who receive it.