Drinking coffee and chatting, the reality that this is my final week lingered at the back of my mind. It made me appreciate the chats even more, and make sure I spoke out the good words I was thinking about those around me. After more then five and a half years at Crux, working with those building their lives after drug abuse and prison, it is time to move on. Not very far, but nevertheless bringing this season to a close.
It’s been years of a lot of joy, celebrating progress and life, as well as times of mourning those who are no more, and despair over those who chose differently. And I am so very thankful. Thankful most of all for all the amazing people I’ve met. To have gotten to know people who have resilience, and who have survived in spite of incredible hardship and challenges that would cause most of us to give up. And yet they have fought and are stronger, and are incredible individuals who have changed who I am. I am thankful for all I have learnt from them, and for the privilege of being invited into their lives and journey, and to have gotten to play a small part in building up them and their lives.
It’s not time to wind down. I want to “run the race to the finish line”, but the past weeks I have been winding away. Winding away from relationships in a good way, where many have experienced abrupt separations from people they have loved and trusted. Winding away from tasks that have become part of the routine and rhythm of the work day, and allowing others to step in and take them on. And working through the sadness of leaving that comes with the joy of transitioning into something new and exciting.
Friday I will bake a final cake (I have baked numerous cakes celebrating birthdays over the years) and then the chapter closes.
I start my job in a week. It will be strange to leave the place where I have spent all of my working hours for the past five and a half years. From being in missions where in some seasons you would unplug and pack up every few years, and then move your entire life to a new location with a new assignment; to now make a shift where the living conditions remain the same, but the assignment and workplace changes.
Big transitions require big space and lots of grace. Space because for a season you have to contain both what is and what will be in your heart and mind, and grace because sometimes it can all get a bit muddled up and overwhelming. At times you just have to sit down and let go, while keeping yourself from intervening and trying to take control and solve the challenges yourself. Because some things just work themselves out in time, and there is nothing you can do that would change or improve the outcome.
In a week I will sit here having completed my first day in my new job. You might wonder what it is…. it’s with a project that reaches out to vulnerable people bringing justice and hope, and walking alongside those whose lives are challenging. I don’t want to say more on a public blog, but if you know me you can write me and I’ll let you know.
So reflecting on all this I am thankful. Thankful that I get to work with people, and thankful for God who leads me so well and orders my steps perfectly. And that brings peace and gratitude in the midst of transition.