This week has been a time of wrestling with the reality of injustice, yet knowing that God is a just God! My heart has been stirred up and I’ve found myself not agreeing with God, yet knowing that He knows perfectly. That He is sovereign. And that He is completely loving and good. Yet not understanding why injustice can prevail.
The other day I was ministering to someone, and as I prayed and encouraged them, I could see their clothes were torn and dirty and I knew that although they were going after God, they were living in poverty. My heart broke. I knew that I wasn’t able to give them anything materially or financially to meet the need I so clearly could see. Afterwards I cried out to God and was asking Him how in a society of such abundance, such desperate need can remain. I asked Him of what He says in Matthew 25 about feeding the hungry and clothing the naked…what about those verses?
As I wrestled I with it, He spoke so clearly and was asking me how this was different from when I’d reach out on the streets? He asked me what the best thing I could give them was? He asked me if I really believe that Jesus is enough? And I do, but I guess somewhere in my heart that mindset of wanting to “do” something practical still remains. And so I was pacing in the prayer room, wrestling with my heart. This heart I know God has given me. The eyes He’s given my heart to see those who are poor and needy and broken. These eyes, which seem to notice those who need a helping hand even when no-one else does. This heart of compassion that I have asked for. And I ask Him: “how do I carry this heart?” How do I carry this heart in the face of such injustice? Injustice not just far away, but injustice that sits right in front of me?
In my wrestling I remembered the story in John 12 where Mary of Bethany anoints Jesus’ feet. And when she is criticised, Jesus responds: “the poor you will always have with you…”. My heart reacted to that statement. In my mind I know that in the book of Revelation it talks about the poor, so I know that at the end of the age there’ll still be poor with us. But “hearing” Jesus say it even as He was on earth, it messed with my heart. I guess it even offended my heart. I don’t think that is ok. I am not ok with the fact that people have to live in poverty just because they weren’t fortunate enough to be born in a rich family or country.
My wrestling drives me deeper into the heart of God. I ask Him to show me His heart. I ask Him to show me how He carries this reality, being the almighty, all-loving God. And I am reminded that His answer then, His answer now, and His answer will always be Jesus. Jesus is God’s answer to injustice. And in the end justice will prevail. But until that day we will have the poor “with us”. And I remember what I used to cling onto when I worked every day in the face of this reality: “without Jesus there is no hope”. Jesus is the best I can give to anyone. And so in my offence and wrestling I choose to come to Him. I choose to trust and surrender even if I don’t understand. I choose to not remain offended but ask Him or a deeper revelation. I ask Him for help to get beyond this offence and see His heart and carry His heart faithfully.
Today I watched a film called “Amazing Grace” about the abolishing of the slave trade, and it is such a story of hope, yet leaves that bittersweet feeling knowing that slavery is still alive and growing today…and knowing a little bit of the reality of the sex slavery trade which is so rapidly growing in the earth causes me to cry out even more for justice. Knowing that God hears and knowing that He is a God who sets the captives free.
Sat here my heart is so broken and yet when I lift my gaze to Jesus and the victory He did win on the cross, there is eternal hope. Hope for me, but also hope for those in poverty and slavery. And I choose to not let the reality of what I see with my natural eyes determine the size and nature of my God. I choose to keep running hard after Him, and I choose to ask Him to open my eyes and show me how He sees things. And so at the end of the day, I don’t want to turn a blind eye to the injustice around me, but I want to come to it with the reality of Jesus who is just and good. And that is my hope.
The other day I was ministering to someone, and as I prayed and encouraged them, I could see their clothes were torn and dirty and I knew that although they were going after God, they were living in poverty. My heart broke. I knew that I wasn’t able to give them anything materially or financially to meet the need I so clearly could see. Afterwards I cried out to God and was asking Him how in a society of such abundance, such desperate need can remain. I asked Him of what He says in Matthew 25 about feeding the hungry and clothing the naked…what about those verses?
As I wrestled I with it, He spoke so clearly and was asking me how this was different from when I’d reach out on the streets? He asked me what the best thing I could give them was? He asked me if I really believe that Jesus is enough? And I do, but I guess somewhere in my heart that mindset of wanting to “do” something practical still remains. And so I was pacing in the prayer room, wrestling with my heart. This heart I know God has given me. The eyes He’s given my heart to see those who are poor and needy and broken. These eyes, which seem to notice those who need a helping hand even when no-one else does. This heart of compassion that I have asked for. And I ask Him: “how do I carry this heart?” How do I carry this heart in the face of such injustice? Injustice not just far away, but injustice that sits right in front of me?
In my wrestling I remembered the story in John 12 where Mary of Bethany anoints Jesus’ feet. And when she is criticised, Jesus responds: “the poor you will always have with you…”. My heart reacted to that statement. In my mind I know that in the book of Revelation it talks about the poor, so I know that at the end of the age there’ll still be poor with us. But “hearing” Jesus say it even as He was on earth, it messed with my heart. I guess it even offended my heart. I don’t think that is ok. I am not ok with the fact that people have to live in poverty just because they weren’t fortunate enough to be born in a rich family or country.
My wrestling drives me deeper into the heart of God. I ask Him to show me His heart. I ask Him to show me how He carries this reality, being the almighty, all-loving God. And I am reminded that His answer then, His answer now, and His answer will always be Jesus. Jesus is God’s answer to injustice. And in the end justice will prevail. But until that day we will have the poor “with us”. And I remember what I used to cling onto when I worked every day in the face of this reality: “without Jesus there is no hope”. Jesus is the best I can give to anyone. And so in my offence and wrestling I choose to come to Him. I choose to trust and surrender even if I don’t understand. I choose to not remain offended but ask Him or a deeper revelation. I ask Him for help to get beyond this offence and see His heart and carry His heart faithfully.
Today I watched a film called “Amazing Grace” about the abolishing of the slave trade, and it is such a story of hope, yet leaves that bittersweet feeling knowing that slavery is still alive and growing today…and knowing a little bit of the reality of the sex slavery trade which is so rapidly growing in the earth causes me to cry out even more for justice. Knowing that God hears and knowing that He is a God who sets the captives free.
Sat here my heart is so broken and yet when I lift my gaze to Jesus and the victory He did win on the cross, there is eternal hope. Hope for me, but also hope for those in poverty and slavery. And I choose to not let the reality of what I see with my natural eyes determine the size and nature of my God. I choose to keep running hard after Him, and I choose to ask Him to open my eyes and show me how He sees things. And so at the end of the day, I don’t want to turn a blind eye to the injustice around me, but I want to come to it with the reality of Jesus who is just and good. And that is my hope.