On a journey...

I realise I haven’t written since Kansas City. The good news is it isn’t coz I got stuck for days at an airport because of the snow chaos we’ve had in Europe the last week or so. I arrived last week Tuesday to a grey and rainy afternoon. The snow arrived the next day and has stayed since. It’s nice to have a white Christmas, especially when you can have a fire lit in the fireplace and plenty of blankets to keep warm. It was lovely to see family again. The children have grown so much and wee Julie (my youngest niece) is beautiful. It’s great that she lives upstairs so I get to see her a lot. And I had a lovely evening baking vegan gingerbread cookies with friends. I am so thankful for family and friends! Adjusting and being back in Norway has had its ups and downs. Lots of jetlag (when it’s 2 am and you’re wide awake, I think you can define it as jetlag). It was slightly adjusted when I had an early morning dentist appointment, but I’m still getting to sleep really late. So much for the

It’s nice to have free WiFi at the airport, especially since my flight is an hour delayed and I arrived early. Today so far hasn’t been without a bit of drama. I had a lovely morning in the prayer room. As I was finishing off my packing my friend who was taking me to the airport knocks on my door. Her catalytic converters on her car had been stolen during the night. So she’s calling the police and her insurance company while I’m finding my other friend to see if she can find a car to borrow from someone so I can get to the airport. My friend (whose car was robbed) ends up managing to get her car fixed in time to go to the airport so our back up vehicle was given back to the owner, but it was a little bit interesting there for a while. At the airport I got to spend an hour and a bit having coffee with 3 friends who came with me to the airport. It was lovely. We talked, prayed and cried a bit. I am so thankful for friends. Anyways, might read my book for a bit and hopefully my flight won

It’s been a beautiful day! Freezing cold, but beautiful. Church was great! Focus on the poor and suffering. Such an interesting way to end my time, with a sermon that cuts right to my heart. Had brunch at the “Waffle House” with a friend (had never been there, but had heard about it and figured it was better late then never to try it out). My clothes still smell like the inside of a “waffle house place”. Then I spend some time in the prayer room. Today is the day of prayer for the poor and suffering so the whole day was devoted to that focus in the prayer room. It was good. So so good! After that some of my housemates and I drove downtown and went ice skating! It was great fun, but very cold. So cold we just had to go get coffee afterwards. I had a very interesting Irish Cream Vanilla Latte with steamed vanilla custard in. Hmmm...not quite sure what I think about that. This evening was spent at home. We decorated for Christmas, rearranged the furniture and then just had cake, cheese an

Last night at Hope City I felt so loved and like I really am part of a family here...which I am leaving shortly. Anyways, I got prayed for and I got hugs and kind words from people. It was a good choice to head down there. I love the loving presence of God at Hope City and I love how the people there love so well! What a privilege to have been a part of it! And it’s funny how sometimes when you get out of your own little “world” and get things into perspective, the mountains and things that overwhelm you don’t seem so overwhelming anymore. I was thinking yesterday about Hebrews 12 and how it talks about “laying aside every weight and fixing our eyes on Jesus”. Moving is a weight and I don’t want to be weighed down, but want to let Him carry the burden and choose to fix my eyes on Jesus. This morning I got up kind of bright and quite early. I headed out and took the licence plates off my Golden Chariot (car) because it’s getting sold today. Mid-way through unscrewing the plates I realiz

I had great aspirations of writing through the leaving process similar to when I left Fortaleza, but it just hasn’t happened. Time has gone by really quickly, yet there have been moments of feeling like it’s been slow motion. It’s the strange dynamic of transition which I’ll never get used to. I think I’ve known and realised that I’m actually leaving for good, not just on holiday, but really moving for a while. I started “packing” on Sunday...4 bags and a box lighter and later, I am still having to choose things to get rid off to accommodate the 2 bags of 50 pounds each limit I have on the plane. Plus my hand luggage of course, which I have a strong suspicion will be a tad heavier and fuller than usual. Reality has started to hit home...yesterday as I sat in the prayer room I was flooded with emotion. It is sad to be leaving. Yes, there is excitement that there’s something new ahead, but right now it’s quite sad. And that’s ok. And on top of the managing the emotions of leaving, there’

Monday marked the 4 week point, 4 weeks till I get on the plane heading towards Norway. It’s very surreal. Last week was the first week of “lasts”. I had a few “last” meetings. It’s so strange to be in a meeting where most of what is discussed isn’t relevant practically coz I won’t be here. Surreal to feel so part and present, yet recognise that although I am part, I am not. I know there are going to be a lot more moments like that, and as I encounter those moments, I desire to find God’s heart in them. How can I make every situation and experience move me into discovering more of God’s heart? How can I use every opportunity to not just dwell on the fact that I’m leaving, but walk into what lies ahead with expectancy that it’s going to be exciting and good even if it’ll no longer be in Kansas City? This past Tuesday I had my “last” prophecy team time. It was sad. So strange to go about “business as usual” yet know it was the last time with this team. They were so sweet; encouraging, bl

I had a great time in Wisconsin. Saw a lake, ate cheese, spoke Portuguese, and ate lots and lots of delicious authentic Brazilian food. It doesn’t get much better than that. It was so good to spend time with my friend and her family and experience life away from the IHOP bubble. It went quickly and now I’m back in KC. On Monday it was 6 weeks till I get on the plane and fly home. I decided on Monday that I really want to make every day count and that each day I would do something that I appreciate to make it a good day and be grateful for the time I’ve been here at IHOP. Not necessarily a huge thing, but just something purposefully to make it a day that counts. One day it was drinking hot cocoa, another it was hanging out with my friend. Today it’ll be eating Tamales (some Mexican dish I’ve never had) I’m feeling a bit stressed and worried today. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened, but it just hit me again that I’m leaving and then I started pondering the future (in my own unders

I’m sat at the KCI airport once again. And no, I’m not moving back to Norway quite yet. Just taking a little trip up to Wisconsin, to visit my friend Debora from Brazil and her family there. It feels like a Saturday even if it’s only Wednesday. Might have something to do with having taken the day off to travel. I’m sat in the eating area with a large (or venti) Starbucks Earl Grey tea in front of me, looking out at the runway. The sky is clear blue and the sun is shining. A lovely day to travel. I am excited about this trip (coming back on Saturday). Excited to see my friend again as I haven’t seen her for many years. Excited to have some time off. And excited to see what God is going to speak to me. I expect Him to speak. He might not answer all of my questions (sometimes He wants me to press into Him more), but I believe He’s going to do something in my heart. It’s been challenging to know that time is ticking till I move from here on the 13th of December. And although I have peace a

The 8th of October was exactly 2 years since I moved here, well since I arrived to be correct. Time has gone so quickly, yet it seems to be speeding up. I have less than 2 months left and I know that suddenly I’ll be at the airport leaving. The past few weeks I’ve been kind of overwhelmed by everything. Overwhelmed by the unknown of the future. Overwhelmed by the things to sort out before I leave. Overwhelmed by the extra meetings that seem to appear every week. And just overwhelmed in general by the constant traffic in my mind. How do I manage to settle in Jesus and live out of that place of trusting that He is in control and is working on my behalf? How do I put aside my worries, knowing that I am of way more value to Him then a sparrow? How do I not miss out on anything that is available to me in this time? I handed my car in to get fixed this week. It was still running but making a lot of strange sounds and not doing very well. However, yesterday they called from the garage and sai

I changed my schedule again. It’s funny coz I seem to be periodically be filling out my yellow Sacred Trust (the form where I write out what times I will be doing my 24 hours of prayer room time) form and trying to figure out where times in the prayer room, Hope City, and all the other things fit so that it is a schedule that is actually doable. Actually, if someone counted how many times “schedule” is used in conversations here at IHOP, I think it would a very high number. I definitely use it a lot... maybe too much. But in a place where things run 24/7 it is invariable that there will be challenges in connecting without having conflicting “schedules” going on. The other day I was getting almost a bit stressed and overwhelmed. So many meetings and things to fit in, and even if I have enough hours in the day, it’s nice to have some times when I can just be and not have anything “scheduled”. Times when I can go for a walk, or have a nap, or just read a book or bake and get refreshed. An

It’s September and I will not be renewing my visa to stay on here at IHOP-KC. It was the decision I expected, but it being final is strange and a bit overwhelming. Reality hits and suddenly I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I know that I will initially go home to Norway, but beyond there, in terms of what my next stop on the journey God has me on is, I have no idea. I know what is in my heart, but practically....no clue. I have peace though. I guess this is what it means to have peace that passes understanding, because I don’t understand the peace I have, but it’s there and I’m grateful. It’s been a strange couple of weeks. Sometimes it feels like I am all over the place in terms of my heart. I go from feeling a twinge of excitement about the limitless possibilities ahead, to waves of sadness as I realise that when plans are made for the OneThing conference or anything happening after 13th of December, they are things I won’t be a part of. Friends hearing the news come up to me and

This evening feelings of weariness flood my soul. Weary of not knowing. Weary of choosing to trust. Weary of waiting. Weary of walking yet not knowing what I am walking in or towards. Weary of figuring out life on my own. This past month the reality of crossroads in life has hit me yet again. I knew it was coming, but suddenly it was there and I just had to go with it. There’s not much more I can do...except waiting and trusting and choosing. Choosing to let God be the One who guides and fights and prepares the path before me. My crossroads is “do I stay or do I go”? From Kansas City and IHOP-KC. In October I’ll have been here two years, which feels like 5 years and at the same time 6 months. In December I go home for Christmas. It’ll have been a year since last time and I’ll be seeing my niece who’ll be 3 instead of 2 years old, and my little nephew who will be 1 year already, and I’ll get to meet little Julie who is only three weeks old as I write this. She’ll be 4 months when I meet

Life. What is life anyway? And what does it mean to live life to the full? A little reflection there. One thing I do know is that I am alive and that the days seem to pass by quicker then I would like them to. The month of July has literally flown by... I can’t believe this weekend it’ll already be August. Where did July go? It’s been an eventful month. Last week was my birthday and I felt very loved and valued. Going for a Brazilian BBQ with some friends in a week or so and I am very excited!! I really hope it’s authentic and good, or I think I will most certainly be a tad disappointed. I also got given a car, almost on the day of my birthday. A good friend of mine got given another car and so she gave me her old one. It took a week and a bit for the garage to fix it up and pass it in the inspection, and getting it licensed in my name and getting insurance wasn’t totally straightforward, but I now have it. And it feels so freeing and lovely when I’m driving my own car!!! It’s a golden

As we sat down with our burgers and drinks it had started to drizzle. We found some seats under the covering of the tent. All around us was a bustle of activity; a queue for free food, children being face painted (or “getting tattoos on their faces” as one little boy informed me), hair being cut to different shapes and styles, people talking, children playing, and lots of connecting being done. It promised to be a great afternoon and evening. After a little while Kevin Prosch and his band strummed their guitars and started to lead us in worship. It was powerful and everyone was just enjoying worshipping and God was being praised in probably one of the darkest places in Kansas City. (A fun side note is that one of the guys in the band called Lambert, actually did his DTS in Fortaleza and was around for about 2 weeks when I moved there January of 2001. And even more surprising was that I remembered him from that long ago. The world is small!) However, the drizzle became rain, and the rai

I feel like I’m in the middle of a rollercoaster ride that is going so quick the only thing I can do is really sit back and go along for the ride. Forget trying to determine the direction, I just need to trust God. Coming back from my holiday in Hawaii was quite hard. Reality hit, as did the realisation that although I did ask God a lot about what He has for me for the time ahead, the only thing He really said was to trust Him and rest in His peace. I mean, they are important truths and things I should do, but not really the answer I was looking for. Still, He is God and I am not, so I guess resting in His peace is what I need to do. The week after coming back I headed down to the HOPE House of Prayer, the Hope City prayer room. It is stunning! It is a beautiful prayer room. I think the best part about it is the natural brick wall that makes for a backdrop for the stage. The floors are a brown glaze and walking back and forth on them reminds me that we are in the inner city and that I

I never got back to writing after my last entry. The rest of my time in Hawaii was great! I spent time at the beach, I walked along the coast, hung out by the pool, had lots of coffee with my friend Elisabeth and got to experience a bit more of what her day-to-day life looks like. On the Friday I flew to Honolulu and visited my friend Si’u and her husband Bernie. I was incredibly well received and it was an lovely few days of getting to know them and learning so much about Hawaiian and Island culture and life. We spent the Saturday at the Polynesian Cultural Centre where I got to see traditional villages from the different islands in the Pacific Ocean, see traditional dances, go to a Luau, watch an amazing show about life....it was great! An on the Sunday I went with them to church and then had a quick tour of Honolulu before boarding the plane back to Kona, Hawaii. All in all it was such a wonderful few weeks. A time of true refreshing!

Volcano day. Saturday was an exciting day. Bright and not quite so early we set off towards the middle of the Island to see the volcano. On our way we stopped at the coffee shack to get real Kona coffee and we also stopped at Mark Twain’s tree and the most southern bakery in the USA to buy Malasadas (sweet bread with filling, like Norwegian “berlinerboller”). At the volcano we got to see the craters, steam vents (hot steam coming up), smoke coming up from the volcano crater. It was really exciting. We even walked through a lava tunnel which is a tunnel created by the lava stream and it’s amazing how perfect it is. And we also got to go on a very exciting and educational little hike with a park ranger who was super-passionate about his job. He showed us these ferns with fur on them that felt like animal fur, and explained how when the Polynesians came to Hawaii they brought plants and animals not native to the islands which threw off the whole ecological system, and then someone brough

After getting the rental car we filled a cooler box with ice and after getting a few supplies at Safeway we set off to the beach which was the activity for the day. It was a nice drive although I am realizing more and more that this is a volcanic island and so most of the scenery is black lava. On some stretches of road people have written different things with white stones and this is what they call “Hawaiian graffiti”. Our first stop was the Hilton Hotel. Not to stay there, but because you can visit the resort and enjoy lunch by the Dolphin pool. It was really lovely. The Hilton is on such a big property that you need to take a little boat to get around (a real boat in a sense, except it runs on rails in this little man-made river). It’s a beautiful place though, and the food at the little restaurant was simple, but nice (I had my first fish tacos ever made with fresh fish). Looking at the dolphins in this small pool area and observing people coming having paid lots to “play with the

Yesterday was another lovely day. After a quick stop at Target to buy sunglasses (very important since the sun is really strong here!) as well as Pringles, animal crackers and water (snacks are also important) we walked down to the beach. It was another lovely beach, a little bit tricky to get to which probably explains the minimal number of tourists on it, but it was full of locals, especially children. There was a little lagoon where it was possible to swim and the beach was really nice. I went swimming and it was almost as if the water was thick... hopefully due to its saltiness, not because it was super-dirty. The beach was situated among some really spectacular houses and my friend explained that all beaches have public access here in Hawaii. Good idea if you ask me, or I am sure rich people would buy up all the beach areas leaving nothing for the locals and visitors like myself to enjoy the beautiful part of creation displayed on this island. After walking home from the beach I h

Setting foot on Hawaiian soil. I arrived safely at Kona International Airport (not that I was traveling internationally, but that’s the name of the airport) Tuesday afternoon. As I stepped off the plane and walked down the staircase I was hit by the warm air. It was lovely. I walked across the runway and into the airport and immediately had associations to Brazil. It felt like Brazil, it kind of looked like Brazil, yet it wasn’t Brazil. Getting into the baggage reclaim area (which is really just the area at the front of the airport, it’s all non-covered really so it’s almost as if you’re outside the airport) I had to wait for a while for the luggage to appear on the conveyer belt. Plenty of time to grab a copy of (almost) all the tourist brochures in the little stand that said “welcome to Hawaii” or something like that. The interesting thing is that most of the information tells you about these wonderful adventures you can have here, yet they don’t tell you any prices. A bit inconvenie

Tuesday 25 May 2010 Literally on a journey...to Hawaii...Aloha! So I’m sat here at KCI again (that’s short for the Kansas City Airport). It’s very strange to be traveling not to a familiar destination, but to somewhere new. I’m off to visit my good friend Elisabeth in Kona, Hawaii. Who would have thought? Sat here in the hustle and bustle of the airport my heart is excited and expectant. I am looking forward to a holiday (or vacation as they call it here), and of course to see my friends. But I’m also excited to have some time to seek the Lord. I know that sounds weird. I mean, my life and job is to pray, talk to Jesus, listen to Him. I spend over 50 hours a week in a prayer room…but there’s always a schedule. Never really an uninterrupted amount of time to just be. And listen. And not have to remember the next thing on the agenda. So here I am sat. Free WiFi lets me connect with the Prayer Room right here…which is also surreal…usually I’m there this time of the day (6 am). But today

I sat next to a lady at lunch this week in the inner city. Her right arm was in a cast so it took a while for her to eat. Everyone greeted her and she seemed to know everyone in some way. As I struck up conversation with her I asked her some unthreatening questions about her life- the first step in building some kind of relationship. It wasn’t about getting the whole story, but rather to be available and see how God would move. She mentioned that she was a grandmother of four, so I asked her if she saw her grandchildren much. Her eyes filled with tears and we sat in silence for a while. I gently touched her arm and said quietly: “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” My heart was filled with compassion. After a while she shared that she had no family in Kansas City and that she misses her grandson who used to live with her a lot. As we chatted she shared some of her current challenges with a broken arm. Challenges like moving furniture and doing dishes. I suggested that maybe some of

I was thinking about walking down an alleyway of houses in Brazil. The ground is a dusty sand and the houses are small and made of concrete and the simplest of houses. As I walk along in the heat I see a flowerpot on one of the porches and a sleeping cat on the other. Everything is relaxed and everything is at peace. No-one is rushing and everyone has time. Time to rest. Time for each other. I went on to ponder what our houses will look like when Jesus comes back and establishes His Kingdom here on earth. Will we have simple houses like these houses? Because fullness of life and true joy isn’t usually found in the expensive mansions rich people live in. Life is found in the little granny’s house in the alleyway. The city may be filled with violence, but that little house brings light. That little house is so full of love that the lack is of lesser importance. Maybe we will live in houses like that. Simple homes that are rich in the things that really have value and that really matter.

Taking things into my own hands. Figuring out solutions and the possible based on my limited mental capacity. Basing hope on what the past communicated to me. Why is it so hard to give it all to God? Why is it so hard to truly surrender without a get-out clause, without a “plan b” if His plan doesn’t work? And why do I feel like I need to fend for myself when He says He’s my defender, and protect myself when His clear again and again that He will protect me? Doing it myself is such hard work. Striving is exhausting, yet how can I truly walk and not strive? How do I let go? What does letting go of everything and laying it in His hands look like, or even feel like? What do a heart and a soul truly at rest feel like? Maybe like Jesus asleep with His head on a cushion in the boat while the storm is raging? Maybe like Peter after Jesus had taken away the shame of denial and entrusted him with the ones He loved so much He died for them? I wonder if Peter struggled after that day? Did he ever

I’m sat here with my heart messed up. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened, but I was just sat here, in a rare moment of time before rushing off to the next thing, thinking about this week and talking to God about two guys I met at Hope City these last few weeks. My heart is moved with the compassion of Jesus for these men. One I talked with at the table while he was eating his dinner one Monday. Time was so short, but he shared that he’d just got out of prison having served a long sentence, and his hope and desire was to restore contact with his children. I didn’t ask what he’d done time for. I don’t really care, but I could tell that the time in prison hadn’t hardened him as it does to some people. His eyes were full of gentleness and maybe a quiet sadness. Sadness over years lost and moments with his children he would never experience. Yet a gentle determination that maybe, just maybe, there was still some hope of building some kind of relationship with them. The other one I enc

My heart is so stirred by the earthquake in Haiti. I’m sure all of our hearts have been, and still are. Here at IHOP-KC one of our ministries, Crisis Response International (CRI), is very involved in relief work on the ground in Haiti and we stand with them in intercession, because it works ( www.criout.org is their website). Hearing about the devastations and the plight of especially the orphans moves my heart and I pray that God would raise up many good families who would bring these children into good homes. Last week I went to Hope City, the inner city ministry. I had such a lovely moment. I was chatting to this lady who was sharing her story. Just casual chitchat over the meal and she told me God had said to her that she was an ambassador. She asked me what it was and I explained to her what it is and how the Bible says we’re to be ambassadors of Christ. Another person came so we were interrupted, but when the interruption was over she brought the subject up again and was like “t

I was sat in the prayer room on Tuesday in a “Worship with the Word” set, just hanging out with Jesus and enjoying reading the Bible and praying. It was such a sweet time and I was really enjoying it. Then someone on the team worship team (Jon Thurlow’s team) starts singing this chorus: “In the secret place it’s where my trust lies, it’s where my hope lies, where the Father is”. It was such a simple yet incredibly anointed chorus. We sang it for ages and it still lingers in my spirit. Finding the heart of the Father; not in the big meeting, or even in the prayer room, but that place of encountering Him in the secret place. When it’s just Him and me. And I was thinking about that yesterday and realising that when Jesus said to pray in Matthew, He said to “go into your room and shut the door”. The implication is that it is going somewhere private, not just closing your eyes in a crowd of people. Here at IHOP-KC we are as busy as ever. 4 nights a week we are having evening services as par

Yesterday in our small group we listened to a message about the Spirit of Adoption. It was powerful and with everything that has happened recently it hits home even harder. God is a God of adoption, and if I am praying for life, praying for abortion to end, then the result is going to be that more babies are born into families that don’t want them or aren’t able to care for them. So what is the solution to that? Adoption. What if a million families decided to adopt one child each, imagine what that would do? That was one of the points put forth in the message. It seems almost impossible, yet so possible. On Saturday we had a memorial service here at IHOP-KC for one of the main advocates for adoption in our community. He was killed only 37 years old in a car accident just before Christmas. He didn’t just speak in favour of adoption, he lived it. Him and his wife had adopted 8 children, 3 with special needs. That is the heart of God. And God is a God of adoption. In the Bible it talks ab