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Belonging…or not?.

What does belonging somewhere mean anyway, is my questions? The past month I’ve been pondering this concept. I’ve had days when I feel really a part of everything, and then suddenly it hits me and I find myself feeling like an outsider; a foreigner on the outside looking in, not part, not belonging, not understanding, and not knowing how long I’m here for and where I’m headed. Some days I feel so fulfilled. Other days I look at my life and I feel content in God. Yet looking at my life outside of God it’s like “what am I doing?” What is life all about?” I want to live. I don’t want to confuse life and ministry again…but then living is ministering, so how does that all work? I haven’t found answers to my questions, but I know it is part of the journey. The journey with God, where ultimately what is important isn’t where I belong, but that I belong to Him. And in this I find peace.

I can’t believe it’s been a month since I last wrote on my blog. Time just goes, and sometimes when there is time, it’s hard to articulate thought processes and what life is all about. Being here at IHOP-KC is a good place to be. A good place to partner with God and see the world changed. A good place to discover what really makes my heart alive. So I was thinking about that…what makes my heart truly come alive? What is it that God has put in me that I was made to do? These past weeks I’ve found that standing in the place of intercession for those trapped in human trafficking makes my heart alive. Joining the inner city outreach here in Kansas City and meeting people I wouldn’t normally meet makes my heart come alive. Seeing people realise how God sees them and find freedom and see lies broken off and truth enter hearts, and people even getting saved through the prophetic makes my heart come alive. And ministering to people who need healing, be it physical or emotional, and seeing them leave healed or in the process of becoming healed makes my heart alive. I believe that God has placed within each of us things He made us to do; He created us with gifts and talent and things we’re good at, and when we walk in them we feel like fish in water. We feel fulfilled because we’re alive. And I am on a journey to discovering what those things are in my heart, and I am starting to walk in them more fully. I mean, life here on earth is too short to not feel alive and bring true Life to others.

Oh, and I also saw a hot air balloon, rode on a camel, and picked my own pumpkins at a pumpkin farm this month. And today (in November) I was wearing flip flops as we had 20 degrees temperature and sunshine, so bought winter boots. Kansas City is the place to be, at least in the autumn (fall).

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