Skip to main content

Decisions being made and my heart adjusting to the path ahead.

It’s September and I will not be renewing my visa to stay on here at IHOP-KC. It was the decision I expected, but it being final is strange and a bit overwhelming. Reality hits and suddenly I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I know that I will initially go home to Norway, but beyond there, in terms of what my next stop on the journey God has me on is, I have no idea. I know what is in my heart, but practically....no clue.

I have peace though. I guess this is what it means to have peace that passes understanding, because I don’t understand the peace I have, but it’s there and I’m grateful. It’s been a strange couple of weeks. Sometimes it feels like I am all over the place in terms of my heart. I go from feeling a twinge of excitement about the limitless possibilities ahead, to waves of sadness as I realise that when plans are made for the OneThing conference or anything happening after 13th of December, they are things I won’t be a part of. Friends hearing the news come up to me and express sadness at my leaving and it makes me feel so loved...I knew I was loved by many (whom I love so dearly too), but I realise more and more how blessed I have truly been. When I asked God for friends when I moved here, He answered in abundance!

The challenge is: how do I keep going 100% and not slow down and get into the mentality that “I’ll be leaving soon”, and walk in that combined with the desire to make every minute I have here the next few months count? How do I find a good balance between getting as deep as I can in Jesus and in prayer and at the same time make sure I have good quality time with friends I won’t be around for much longer?

So far my strategy has been: one day at a time. And it seems to work so far.

It feels like I’ve been here before, at this place in life I mean. Yet another crossroads. But it’s a different crossroads. Another point of pressing into God asking Him for direction, asking Him where it is that I can love Him best, where it is that I will walk in the fullness of who He made me. I don’t know where the journey is taking me, but I continue to trust. Trust that the plan has been made and that it is a good plan. And in the waiting I choose to fix my eyes on Jesus and walk as someone who is “seeking for a homeland”, a pilgrim on this earth.

Popular posts from this blog

Finding pockets of life (and a bubble-tea metaphor).

“Where can I find life?” has been a question I have asked myself a lot recently (but really for years). And really the deeper question is: “What is life, and what does it look like?” I guess the simple answer is whatever makes you feel alive on the inside; that brings a smile to your face; and that gives you energy and increases your capacity. There are so many side-effects of burn-out; or maybe they are rather causes of burn-out, which when combined become a huge mountain that can topple even the strongest of people. But once you have been depleted of your capacity to stand in the face of the challenges around you, one of the things that can help increase your energy and capacity is finding pockets of life. (And of course a lot of other things like rest, exercise, patience when the process is slow, setting boundaries etc. but that’s for another blogpost). The past months I’ve been watching and searching and paying attention. Searching for choices that will bring life, and paying att
Read more

There was a before and there will be an after.

“Do you really think it will go over?” A question posed as I was chatting to someone over coffee this week (with distance of course). My immediate response was that yes, I really do think it will go over, but I don’t know when or what it will look like. I don’t know when we’ll be back to “normal.” But to be honest, I am not sure I really want things to go back to being as they were before ... The past seven weeks have been so very different. Social distancing, staying one meter away from others, having permanently dry hands from antibac and washing hands a lot, and having to limit most interaction with others to a screen, have become part of everyday life. And of course the distance and isolating part of this “normal” I have no desire of seeing become part of the after . But at the same time I see good growing in this time of crisis; good that I do want to bring into the after , and what will become my normal when this crisis comes to an end. Time. Whether we like it or not, o
Read more

Small moments that mean a lot

Walking home on the crunchy snow that lights up a December evening,  I felt so thankful. The revelation that fellowship and being together is the best gift you can give someone, and realising that although it might seem small, it can turn into something big when a person feels seen and valued.  Yesterday I helped out with a crafts workshop for a group of lovely women volunteering for Crux where I worked before (well, in all honesty: they were making angels while I ate Christmas cookies, Quality Street chocolate, and chatted). I love walking alongside people in conversation, and realise sharing life for 2 hours can last so much longer in value and experience.  This evening we had our Christmas dinner for volunteers and people who are part of my current job. It was a delightful evening with many nations gathered around the same table…. eating the same food… and for a few hours creating a small fellowship moment that will become a good memory for the future. Often in my job the focus is o
Read more