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Journey of grace sufficient and perfected weakness.

Seeking a place of being “careless”. Not because I don’t care, but because God takes my cares upon Himself. I have cast my cares upon Him because I know that He cares for me. And I trust in that care.

Processing the last season. Thankful I never broke down. It was close, but I encountered sufficiency in His grace. God was enough and He gave me enough to make it through. It was sufficient. Sufficient meaning enough to fully meet the need. And what He gave me was sufficient. It was enough to sustain me.

Thinking about it, it doesn’t look like wisdom. Exhausted, worn out, worried about so many things. Not the best starting point to plunge into another intense battle, leading the way.

Arriving to lead the Shine Seminar my soul was so weary. Compassion is a gift, but it’s hard work. It requires risking and often living through rejection by the very ones you are trying so hard to show acceptance. It drains and involves the famous “give a hand and have the whole arm taken”. The wrestle of always another need. The struggle of feeling like you always come up short. The constant choosing of hope. Constant choice to believe in the goodness of God even when His ways are a mystery.

Arriving so weary and wanting to not even think about injustice. Wanting to forget that suffering and human trafficking even exists... not for ever, but just for a moment. Longing for a green pasture and quiet water- just to lie down for a minute and shut my eyes to the weight of the world, and for an instance pretend that all is well.

And yet the reality was so different. Injustice doesn’t take a break when we get tired of fighting it. Sometimes it seems like our weariness even fuels it. And so I chose to turn up. I came empty and encountered His sufficiency.

And I realised that what I could give didn’t depend on my capacity but on His. I didn’t have to scrape the bottom of an empty well. I was invited to plug into His river of life which never runs dry and give from that place. I didn’t have to muster up some human passion and zeal to see injustice fought and try to convince a group of people to believe in my cause. I simply needed to invite them into my journey of looking to the One who is Justice and see as He sees.

And on the days when I felt the task was overwhelming me, He was right with me, reminding me that I wasn’t alone. That He takes my hand and keeps me as He walks me into purpose.

And so I look back thankful that I got to live the “when I am weak, He is strong.” Because He is strong and He is enough. And that is Truth that remains with me for life.

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