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Dark winter evenings and the future.

I think it’s safe to say that winter is here. Last week we had a bit of snow, only a few flakes so nothing to get a Norwegian soul too excited by, but all the former puddles are now ice-covered and slippery (and great fun to trample on and break the ice).

A few weeks ago I cycled into Hamar, one of the neighbouring towns, and on my way back it was getting colder. The before just wet road, was now quite icy. Having cycled quite carefully most of the way home, I built up a bit of courage (mixed with a desire to get home quicker) as I was approaching the penultimate turn. However, being in the shade, the asphalt in that turn was icy, and the front wheel of my bike slid and I fell off the bike. Thankfully the bike was fine (it was borrowed so obviously my main concern), and I didn’t break any bones either. I did manage to graze my knee and hand, and my new jeans (which I spent an entire day finding) got a hole in the knee. Still, I do recognise that I was lucky. Cycling without a helmet (very unwise, I know!) I was grateful to not bang my head, because I think I would have kicked myself for cycling without a helmet if I had (not that I have a helmet to use, but I think some of my housemates have, so it’s really only a matter of asking to lend me one). Since this event I must admit I have decided that the cycling season if over for now, for me anyway. None of the bikes I borrow have winter tyres, and to be honest, I don’t know if I would feel any safer riding them even if they did.

Having put the wheels to rest, I have got into going for walks. I discovered that if I put on enough clothes, it is actually a refreshing experience to walk and get fresh air. Also this part of the country doesn’t have as much rain as my hometown, and so most days have a clear, often blue, sky. From doing only one walk, I have now expanded my territory and have tested out various directions and roads. Sometimes I get a bit lost, but usually I find my way back. The only drawback is that it is getting dark around 4:30 pm now, and so going for walks in the evening isn’t as enticing.

The dark evenings do bring a sense of cosiness being inside. Once the candles are lit and the pot of tea made (or coffee, especially freshly ground coffee made in a percolator with hot milk), often accompanied by some kind of cake (today it was blueberry pie and whipped cream), it is really lovely to sit in the kitchen/living room and chat. Very good bonding I must say.

The future. “Future” is such a big and distant word. But I suppose it describes the “what lies ahead” pretty well. These past weeks have been very mixed with regards to the “future”. As long as I didn’t really have a clue as to what I wanted to/ was meant to do come January, I was fine. I felt full of peace, relaxed, and full of trust in God. Then once I started deciding and discovering what I felt I was being led to, and that didn’t seem to be working out the way I’d expected it to, it was as if I stepped out of the peace. After having thought and wrestled with it for some days, I now understand that the direction I was going in was right, but it was just the “how” that wasn’t. So now I have stepped back into the peace and feel very excited for what God has in store.

Come January I pop across the ocean again to IHOP-KC for a while, and then we’ll take it from there. I find I am not too concerned with knowing beyond there, because I’ve seen so far in this Sabbath year that God is faithful in leading me step by step. And that is after all enough. I think that often if we know too many steps ahead at once, it becomes tempting to skip a few and reach the end quicker. And we forget that the process is often more important then the goal, and that it is on the journey that God forms us and prepares us for where we’re headed.

So that’s where I’m at right now. Journeying with God is exciting, if a bit daunting a lot of the time. But as I look back on life, I can see God as that “red-thread” of faithfulness, which sows together all that I have lived and am living.

Watch this space as I keep walking forward; one step at a time.

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