As I walked past him I heard him ask those passing by (myself included) for money towards a downpayment on a cheeseburger. It brought a smile to my face and touched my heart, so my friend and I decided to get him a coffee and sandwich (there were no fast food places in sight). Stood there buying the coffee I was struck by cynical thoughts; thoughts that maybe he wouldn’t accept it and say that he wasn’t in the mood for coffee. Interesting to think that I was concerned about being rejected by someone who is rejected numerous times a day…I realised how selfish I am and how it was so not about me not feeling rejected, but about him feeling, if not much, maybe a little bit of dignity. We got the coffee and sandwich and gave it to him, and he was very grateful for it and positive. It was one of those wide open doors I could have stepped through, and maybe taken him closer to Jesus. But being pressed for time and with a commitment to the prophecy rooms we simply blessed him and told him Jesus loved him before we headed off. My heart was tugged and challenged by the situation. Looking back at it I become so aware of my own priorities and values, and wondering where the heart of Jesus is within them. How can I live in line with what He wants to do in peoples’ lives, including being faithful to the “planned” when the unexpected comes along.
“Where can I find life?” has been a question I have asked myself a lot recently (but really for years). And really the deeper question is: “What is life, and what does it look like?” I guess the simple answer is whatever makes you feel alive on the inside; that brings a smile to your face; and that gives you energy and increases your capacity. There are so many side-effects of burn-out; or maybe they are rather causes of burn-out, which when combined become a huge mountain that can topple even the strongest of people. But once you have been depleted of your capacity to stand in the face of the challenges around you, one of the things that can help increase your energy and capacity is finding pockets of life. (And of course a lot of other things like rest, exercise, patience when the process is slow, setting boundaries etc. but that’s for another blogpost). The past months I’ve been watching and searching and paying attention. Searching for choices that will bring life, and paying att