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The longing to see more, and the familiarity of things missed.


Tomorrow I head back to Amsterdam. It’s been a really full two weeks here, yet at the same time it feels like I just got here.

On Friday morning we set off again to OitĂ£o Preto. As we drove in we passed another one of the boys, now a young man, I used to know. He’s such a funny boy. It took him a few seconds to realize who we were and we had a little chat with him. I asked him how things were going and he said that things were going ok and that he was just waiting for someone to sort out his papers, but that God is still good. As we drove on I was thinking about how him and others are always waiting for “someone” to sort things out for them, and how there is always something that is keeping them from changing the direction they are going in. And yet, at the same time, I wonder what he would do if one day someone came and presented him with everything. Would he then step into something different?

As we walked up the stairs to the prayer house I could feel the peace and the presence of God and it was good to step into a room with people already praying and worshipping. Good to enter into agreement with them for the city and community, while at the same time just telling God from my heart how much I love Him, just because He is.

And yet, even as I was encountering His heart in that small prayer house, I long to see more. I long to see a tangible transformation in the city and lives met. I long to see what God sees when He looks at  Fortaleza. And I long to go deeper in connecting with God’s heart for myself and those around me.

In the afternoon I popped by Mercado Central. The vast amounts of touristy locally made clothes and items a statement of the creativity and beauty that lies within the Brazilian people. There is much beauty here.

I walked from the market along Monsenhor Tabosa, which still has shop after shop selling shoes, handbags, and bikinis. I ended up buying some Havaianas and a few other things, but mostly I was struck at how some things remain the same even with the passing of time. The rest of the afternoon went ticking a few other items of my list of “to dos” while here in Fortaleza- including eating açaĂ­ na tigela, and getting a manicure and pedicure which are many times cheaper here than anywhere else I’ve lived in the world. I love how communicative the Brazilian people are and how you can spend an hour chatting with someone you’ve never met just because they happen to be doing your nails (and the next day smile and say ‘hi’ at the bus stop as if you’d become friends). Churrasco (Brazilian barbeque) was ticked the evening before, a reminder of how much I love it, yet also a reminder of how it’s really not good value for money for someone with my eating capacity.

In the evening we went to the Iris ministries mission service. As I walked in one of the girls I knew from my years of working greeted me with a big hug and great excitement. She has surely changed from the first time I met her back in January of 2001. At that time she’d just got out of hospital from a motorbike accident. That evening I met her having experienced more than just a restoration of her physical body, but God had met her deeply in her heart. She shared that although there are still struggles, she seeks to be a testimony with her life to those around her who don’t know Jesus yet. It was so good to talk to her and see her hunger for more of God. And it brought hope. Hope that God is still changing people, and hope that if He can meet this one, then He also knows how to find the others who remain lost in the community.

Saturday morning it was time for refreshing and I hopped on a bus with one of my dear friends direction Cumbuco, one of the many beautiful beaches outside of the city. It was lovely to have a day with no emails or facebook to check, and be able to just enjoy the pool and the beach, and finally find the mind-traffic and stress start to subside. It was so peaceful and I felt myself wind down and enter into a place of rest. Definitely perfect timing in the midst of planning the Shine Seminar we are going to run here, and the busyness that awaits as I return to Amsterdam.

Traveling back from the beach was a bit less relaxing in a packed full minibus, but it was an adventure none-the-less, which included waiting to be picked up by a taxi by the road in a dangerous part of town. Thankfully an older gentleman chatted with us and I think gave us a certain protection from the various suspicious people who were clearly watching us and our luggage (it’s not very easy to blend in when you’re blond and blue-eyed).

And so here I am. It’s nearly midnight and tomorrow I leave. Today just went. Most of the day getting more preparation for the Shine done. I’d forgotten how much work it is to organize a course for 50-60 people is, and it’s still about 6 months away. But it’s been good. Looking back at these two weeks it’s been very much worth the trip (although sitting here I wish I had another week). It’s been worth it to see God work in the DTS staff and students’ lives through the days of teaching, and it’s been worth it to be able to plan for Shine Seminar Brasil both practically and in prayer.

And it’s been worth it for the nearness I have experienced with God here. His voice is always worth it. And so as I finish writing this I find that I am longing for more. Longing for a greater nearness to the One who draws near when we draw near to Him. And longing for this nearness to continue with me as I get off the plane in Amsterdam and continue on the path set before me there.

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