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Walking through December: the first of many lasts.

Another time of transition. After almost 2 years here in Amsterdam I a starting to prepare to move on. After I get back from running Shine in Brazil I will be moving on. To what and where, I don’t know, but I know it’ll be something good because God leads well.

It’s  another time of so many changes. And yet while looking to the future there is a need to be in the now and present. I am better at the latter at the moment. The ahead seems so far away, and the present has more than enough things to resolve. Kind of like it says in the Bible that each day has enough worries of it’s on.

Last night I did my first of many lasts. My last shift with HOME soup- the soup project Not For Sale runs here in the Red Light District. The past year and a half I’ve been heading out every Tuesday night; rain or shine or snow, selling soup and salads to the women behind the windows. It’s been such a privilege and so amazing to see soup open doors to hearts. I will miss it.

I will miss the joy of making eye contact with each girl, and even if we never speak, communicate that “yes, you are seen” in a good way. I will miss wearing the orange jacket which identifies me as the “soup lady”. I will miss numerous conversations through mimicking through a closed window “d-o y-o-u w-a-n-t s-o-u-p t-o-d-a-y”. I will miss conversations about life, in a place where the reality is so surreal if you stop to think about it. And I will miss the lovely volunteers I’ve had the joy to get to know.

As I was pouring the left over soup into plastic containers at the end of the shift last night, in between making ready some last minutes orders of chicken soup, I was thinking that the soup means more than just food. It means dignity. And every shift I was always reminded of the fact that at the end of the day, the soup project never was about the soup, it is about the people. The women we get to connect with and know and the stories we get to share. And it’s been such a privilege to be welcomed into their world, if only for a little while.

So there you go. I know there will be other lasts, but for now this is the first one and I am not quite sure how I feel about it. I am so thankful that I got to be a part of it, and sad that it is over for me, yet at the same time I have this sense of closure; that I did what I was meant to do, and that now other people will continue with it.

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