Skip to main content

Seeing through the lens of having been away.

It’s Sunday evening and I am sat in the living room yet again. It’s night and the time is beautifully illuminated on the clock of the Oude Kerk. Outside the streets are full of people despite the fact that it is Sunday and evening. The Red Light District never sleeps. The sound of the streets at night travels through the closed windows, and the occasional shout from someone who has probably had a few drinks too much breaks through the murmur of people walking by. I am almost tempted to put on my jacket and go out for a stroll... but think I’ll opt for reflecting on the past couple of days.

I am struck at how much more hopeful the lens through which I see the city is having been away. It’s almost like when you live somewhere and are in the reality of that place day in and day out, it’s so easy to start to see through the lens of what is around you. I find having been away I can see so much more hope and so much more changing and being done in lives and in the city. It’s so encouraging!

Sitting here my heart is full again, but this time of thankfulness for the beautiful friends I have here. Time doesn’t allow for me to meet every person I love and value, but I was able to see a few. Friendship is such a unique thing. I love how some friendships we are given for a season and others for a lifetime. And some end up being for a few seasons connected and disconnected. The past few days I’ve been able to enjoy coffee and catching up with just a few of the many amazing people I know, and at the same time visit some of the lovely coffee places I miss in this city. Here’s a wee summary for those who know the city:

On Friday I went for lunch at the Bakkerswinkel. It is still amazing, although I ended up not having the scones (for those who have been exposed to this delight, I might just have to go back there before I leave and buy some of their amazing passion fruit jam). Yesterday I went for coffee and cake at Latei, a quaint little cafe where you can buy everything in it (chairs, lamps, tables etc.), and later I headed to Greenwoods tea house but it was too crowded so ended up at a pavement café along one of the canals, where I had fresh mint tea (shocking to betray good old Earl Grey, I know, but it was quite refreshing and sometimes it’s good to have something different so I will appreciate good old Earl even more. In fact I am savouring a cup of Earl as I write this). Today I had a lovely Thai dinner at The Bird and Jasmine tea (noticing my loyalty to Earl is wavering, but in my defence there was no Earl at this place and the alternative was Pickwick Engelse Melange). It’s so good to get to enjoy these places, but most of all the people I get to go to them with! Thankful for friends.

I also matou saudade (literally means “killing the missing”, and it’s the Brazilian expression of dealing with having missed something and revisiting/ reliving it... it’s a unique expression that says it so well) for the cinema. When I lived here I had a movie card that gave me free unlimited access to the cinema for a small monthly price and so I grew very familiar with the Pathe cinemas. And so this afternoon I went with a dear friend and it was a very good experience.

It was also really lovely to go to church at God’s Embassy and feel so loved and welcomed by friends and acquaintances there.

All in all a few days of really taking in the city and enjoying so much friendship! I wish I had more time. It is strange to feel so at home in a place that is no longer home, and yet I guess wherever you live for an extended period of time ends up becoming part of you, and Amsterdam has proven to be one of those places in my life.

Popular posts from this blog

Finding pockets of life (and a bubble-tea metaphor).

“Where can I find life?” has been a question I have asked myself a lot recently (but really for years). And really the deeper question is: “What is life, and what does it look like?” I guess the simple answer is whatever makes you feel alive on the inside; that brings a smile to your face; and that gives you energy and increases your capacity. There are so many side-effects of burn-out; or maybe they are rather causes of burn-out, which when combined become a huge mountain that can topple even the strongest of people. But once you have been depleted of your capacity to stand in the face of the challenges around you, one of the things that can help increase your energy and capacity is finding pockets of life. (And of course a lot of other things like rest, exercise, patience when the process is slow, setting boundaries etc. but that’s for another blogpost). The past months I’ve been watching and searching and paying attention. Searching for choices that will bring life, and paying att
Read more

There was a before and there will be an after.

“Do you really think it will go over?” A question posed as I was chatting to someone over coffee this week (with distance of course). My immediate response was that yes, I really do think it will go over, but I don’t know when or what it will look like. I don’t know when we’ll be back to “normal.” But to be honest, I am not sure I really want things to go back to being as they were before ... The past seven weeks have been so very different. Social distancing, staying one meter away from others, having permanently dry hands from antibac and washing hands a lot, and having to limit most interaction with others to a screen, have become part of everyday life. And of course the distance and isolating part of this “normal” I have no desire of seeing become part of the after . But at the same time I see good growing in this time of crisis; good that I do want to bring into the after , and what will become my normal when this crisis comes to an end. Time. Whether we like it or not, o
Read more

Small moments that mean a lot

Walking home on the crunchy snow that lights up a December evening,  I felt so thankful. The revelation that fellowship and being together is the best gift you can give someone, and realising that although it might seem small, it can turn into something big when a person feels seen and valued.  Yesterday I helped out with a crafts workshop for a group of lovely women volunteering for Crux where I worked before (well, in all honesty: they were making angels while I ate Christmas cookies, Quality Street chocolate, and chatted). I love walking alongside people in conversation, and realise sharing life for 2 hours can last so much longer in value and experience.  This evening we had our Christmas dinner for volunteers and people who are part of my current job. It was a delightful evening with many nations gathered around the same table…. eating the same food… and for a few hours creating a small fellowship moment that will become a good memory for the future. Often in my job the focus is o
Read more