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Sadness in the midst of Christmas busyness.

It’s been a week of contrasts. From a wonderful Christmas party in prison, where we were moved to tears by songs of grace and the Christmas message; to continuing the tradition of baking Christmas cookies with old friends; to hearing that one of my boys (now adult) in Brazil is dead...

I remember the 8 year old Paulo I got to know a little over 19 years ago at Minha Casa (a residential project for streetboys in Fortaleza). And I remember how my heart was wrecked by his desperate question of: “why do you have to leave, tia (auntie)?” as I was saying goodbye. Knowing him changed my life, and that moment changed how I viewed my future. It led me to ending up living in Brazil for most of my 20s because I didn’t want to be one who “left”, but be one who was stable and safe.

Now that little boy turned adult is no more. He had a beautiful smile, a contagious personality and was so very easy to love. And he was so very loved by all of those who had the privilege of knowing him. I pray for his family who have experienced more loss then they ever should have had to live through, and I pray that his children will grow up making choices for life and future.

Navigating loss has no formula, and so as I continue with my present, I know I have to make space for the heart to mourn the tragedy of a young life cut short. Knowing that with the sadness also comes the remembering of good moments together, and a reminder that life is fragile and unpredictable, and we need to make the most of each moment we have.

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