Trying to settle into a new country and culture is complicated. It’s very different from visiting, where all things new are (mostly) an exciting adventure. Living and settling is an invitation to not just be an observer of the culture and ways from the outside, but to embrace it and become part of what others observe when they are visiting.
But it’s complicated. And it takes time to navigate. How do you embrace
a culture that functions so differently from your own, while not loosing yourself?
How you navigate not letting the struggles overshadow all the treasure each
culture carries within them?
How do you remain thankful, when everything within you is feeling
overwhelmed by yet another wave of culture shock, leaving you feeling a bit
like you were literally washed up on the sand by a giant wave?
This month marked 6 months of living in Amsterdam. I guess we all hit
moments of reflection in our journeys. I don’t know if I hit one of those
moments, or if I am reflecting as a result of being overwhelmed.
On Sunday I was strolling around the city as I do. It was a beautiful
day and the streets and parks were full of tourists and locals (sometimes I wonder
where all the people come from as there are people everywhere). And yet walking
around (not going anywhere in particular) I felt so completely alone in the
world. It crept in on me and just hit me, and as I watched families, friends,
couples, random collections of people, their togetherness seemed to amplify my
aloneness. And I was faced with a choice: either I could choose to remain in
that place of feeling alone; or I could go the route of thankfulness.
I chose thankfulness.
I started thanking God for the simple things, like a nice sunny day, a
beautiful city to walk around in, for a free day. And even if I still felt
quite alone at first, as I kept thanking Him, it was as it something shifted in
my perspective. And I found the things that before had emphasized my feeling
alone, were now springboards to gratitude. Needless to say it became a really
good day.
Even if my circumstances haven’t changed, and the expectation that by
now I’d surely be settled in the city with the language figured out and a
network of people around me hasn’t been met, my heart is more at peace. I know
more Dutch than I did 6 months ago, and my online course which I do on and off
when I have a moment, it definitely extending my vocabulary. However speaking
and understanding when it is spoken is a bit more tricky. But still there is
progression, and I was very excited the other day when I had a whole (small)
conversation in a shop in Dutch without having to resort to English. And connecting
with people just takes time, and I am so grateful for the ones I do know and
can spend time with.
So I am thankful. Thankful for the revelation that gratitude is a
vehicle to peace and perspective.
I just finished some apple pie and am in the process of drinking a delicious
cup of Earl Grey tea. As always, airports are the best place to blog, and I am
waiting for my flight home to Norway for an extra long weekend. I am ready for
some time in familiar surroundings in a culture I understand better. And yet at
the same time, I am glad to be on the journey of discovering the treasures of
the Dutch culture as I continue to live and work in the beautiful city of
Amsterdam.