On a journey...

The breeze is rustling the palm branches, and even in the shade I feel the heat of the day. I am sat writing this on the sofa on the porch of the hospitality house here on the base. The same sofa we had at the restoration farm which brings back good memories from those years ago. After a shower in unheated water (which isn’t really necessary anyways because of the climate) I had a papaya for breakfast. There is nothing like eating fruit in a tropical country where it was probably picked closer to the matured stage than when it needs to be exported for many hours before it reaches the super market. It was delicious. My flight was uneventful. I had a couple of free seats next to me which was lovely in a pretty  packed plane. On arrival good friends greeted me at the airport and we drove to the base in the cooler (read: 27 degrees Celsius) evening air in the kombi. After finally managing to sleep, I slept well, feeling the air of the fan and the occasional mosquito biting m...

I’m sat sipping my extra hot chai tea latte. After so many failed attempts to find an alternative to Starbuck for good coffee, I decided this time to not even try and went right to the Starbucks queue in the terminal. I am sat in a quite nice leathery arm chair (I didn’t realize they had), looking out over the runway. The sky is half cloudy, half sunny... beautiful in its own way, although I suspect its beauty is compromised by the very dirty windows I am looking through. Airport time means blogging time... at least here at Schiphol. After lots of packing and adjusting the content of my suitcases, I finally went to bed, only to wake up at 4 am thinking about how I really should use a rucksack for my hand luggage. I guess it’s the normal travel nerves... and I can sleep on the plane. I have the butterfly sensation in my stomach; the familiar mixture of anticipation, excitement, and nerves. Hoping the journey goes well. Hoping my luggage gets there and that I am picked up...

With my room cleaned and tidy, apart from “almost-packed” suitcases and bags scattered around, reality sinks in just a little deeper. This beautiful room which has been my home the past two years will become someone else’s home. I look at the furniture and remember God’s amazing provision and goodness when I moved into this city. The “lasts” of transition are quickly accumulating in number- yesterday morning I did my “last” BodyCombat class at the gym (including a really hard interval training at the end which I am still feeling the effects of- and for sure will feel for a few days)...wondering if I’ll find another place to do my favourite class in the future. And then this morning it was my last YWAM meeting for a while- which was so lovely. More people I will miss. Today I also did a “first”. Having bought a new laptop a year and a half ago, I never got round to disposing of the old, dead laptop. And tidying revealed this factor. In Norway any electrical shop will take you...

After a few attempt to locate each other, I finally met her outside the McDonald’s (always a good point of reference) and together we walked to the dinner and Bible study. We chatted about her life as we walked and soon arrived. Coming into the apartment there was a bustle of life. An outreach team had come to join us for dinner and worship, and there were people everywhere. We hung up our coats, and I quickly located our other Spanish speaker and we all sat down at one corner of the table for dinner which was delicious. After dinner our small Spanish speaking contingent (including myself) sat down on the sofa and had an amazing time of Bible study. We talked about trusting God and how He is our protection and always with us; and we shared the challenges we are facing at the moment. It was such a precious time of going deeper. Deeper than the surface “weather and family” talking. Deeper- into what   really matters   like: “is God going to provide so I can pay my bills n...

"He said He loves my joy.” Smiling she shared what she felt God was saying to her. My heart rejoiced. It’s such a privilege to have some of the women we otherwise meet in windows, come and encounter the voice of God in my home. This week’s Bible study was good. One of the women came with so many questions. She’d been watching movies about stories from the Bible and wanted to understand. We took it from the beginning, reading how Adam and Eve’s choice to disobey God’s instruction led them to separate themselves from God. “So Jesus was kind of a second Adam?” she exclaimed when we shared about Jesus taking our place. Such deep understanding of what He did. And joy in understanding not just a religious concept, but a Truth that brings freedom- for all. We shared, explained, talked, laughed, listened, and prayed. It was truly one of the “lasts” that made me wish it wasn’t the last. Technically it isn’t totally the last; I hope to see them when I come back from Brazil for a bit...

“So we have Bible study tomorrow, right?!” We were prayer waking and I saw several women in the windows who are more than “women in the windows”. Some have become sisters in Christ whose journeys I have been a small part of. My “organized” plan of a smooth and gradual transition out of Lighthouse activities and focusing on Shine preparation isn’t really working. When someone wants more of God, that is when I decide that teaching prep and emails can surely wait. People are more important, and these girls are so important to God and to me. Smooth transition. I think my conclusion is that there is nothing smooth about transition. It’s rough and hard, but also a reminder of the richness of relationship, yet that richness making the leaving even more painful. Emotional. It’s been an emotional week. Prayer walking and Bible study and outreach. Coming alive as I interact with the women and realizing how much of my heart I have invested in them. Finding it so hard to explain to ...

When she prays, it brings tears to my eyes. Not tears of sadness or hurt, but tears of gratefulness. Tears because I am so moved by her heart, not to ask for herself, but to cry out on behalf of others. She prays for women to get out of prostitution with so much faith. She knows the God who can do just that. Set free. Because once she encountered that freedom. I think this is a glimpse of what a journey of restoration looks like. Desiring that others find that same life. She is still on a journey, but her past does not define her anymore. She is a daughter of God, and she knows it, and that is what moves me the most when she prays.

“We get seven cards each”, she exclaimed enthusiastically as she with great concentration dealt two piles of just that. We picked up a pile each and started playing. It was a special moment of playing UNO with my 3 year old niece at the coffee table and having quality time when distance keeps me from seeing her as much as I would like.   We didn’t include the most competitive aspects of the game (like slamming your hand down on the pile when a 10 appears or being silent when there is a 7), but we did play the real game, and of course I helped her a bit by suggesting things like she should swap colours to a colour she actually has in her hands. Colours. As my niece confidently declared the colours she was in possession of, my mind flashed back 13 years to a slum in Brazil. I was playing the very same game (with a slightly more worn and dirty deck of cards) with a 5 year old, and finding my heart sink as it became very clear that when she’d get a colour right, it was a l...

It’s well into a new year. Outside the rain is pouring down, creating patters of water flowing down on the windows. It’s nice to be inside. I was thinking about this year ahead. Last year had many ups and a lot of challenges, and my constant question was: “where is life?” I don’t think we’re meant to live without challenges or problems or even crises; but in the midst of whatever we are going through, I believe there is life to be found. I believe we were created for more than just surviving the next storm. We were created to live.  And so as I look at this year ahead, which promises many challenges and changes and unknowns, I want to start off knowing what brings me joy and seeking it out even when the storms are raging. Joy isn’t the same as happiness. Happiness is a temporary state of feeling “up”. Joy is so much deeper. Joy can be found at the deepest pit. Joy isn’t circumstantial... in my opinion anyway. Wanting to live fully. Wanting to be alive every day a...