On a journey...

I was thinking about walking down an alleyway of houses in Brazil. The ground is a dusty sand and the houses are small and made of concrete and the simplest of houses. As I walk along in the heat I see a flowerpot on one of the porches and a sleeping cat on the other. Everything is relaxed and everything is at peace. No-one is rushing and everyone has time. Time to rest. Time for each other. I went on to ponder what our houses will look like when Jesus comes back and establishes His Kingdom here on earth. Will we have simple houses like these houses? Because fullness of life and true joy isn’t usually found in the expensive mansions rich people live in. Life is found in the little granny’s house in the alleyway. The city may be filled with violence, but that little house brings light. That little house is so full of love that the lack is of lesser importance. Maybe we will live in houses like that. Simple homes that are rich in the things that really have value and that really matter. ...

Taking things into my own hands. Figuring out solutions and the possible based on my limited mental capacity. Basing hope on what the past communicated to me. Why is it so hard to give it all to God? Why is it so hard to truly surrender without a get-out clause, without a “plan b” if His plan doesn’t work? And why do I feel like I need to fend for myself when He says He’s my defender, and protect myself when His clear again and again that He will protect me? Doing it myself is such hard work. Striving is exhausting, yet how can I truly walk and not strive? How do I let go? What does letting go of everything and laying it in His hands look like, or even feel like? What do a heart and a soul truly at rest feel like? Maybe like Jesus asleep with His head on a cushion in the boat while the storm is raging? Maybe like Peter after Jesus had taken away the shame of denial and entrusted him with the ones He loved so much He died for them? I wonder if Peter struggled after that day? Did he ever...

I’m sat here with my heart messed up. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened, but I was just sat here, in a rare moment of time before rushing off to the next thing, thinking about this week and talking to God about two guys I met at Hope City these last few weeks. My heart is moved with the compassion of Jesus for these men. One I talked with at the table while he was eating his dinner one Monday. Time was so short, but he shared that he’d just got out of prison having served a long sentence, and his hope and desire was to restore contact with his children. I didn’t ask what he’d done time for. I don’t really care, but I could tell that the time in prison hadn’t hardened him as it does to some people. His eyes were full of gentleness and maybe a quiet sadness. Sadness over years lost and moments with his children he would never experience. Yet a gentle determination that maybe, just maybe, there was still some hope of building some kind of relationship with them. The other one I enc...

My heart is so stirred by the earthquake in Haiti. I’m sure all of our hearts have been, and still are. Here at IHOP-KC one of our ministries, Crisis Response International (CRI), is very involved in relief work on the ground in Haiti and we stand with them in intercession, because it works ( www.criout.org is their website). Hearing about the devastations and the plight of especially the orphans moves my heart and I pray that God would raise up many good families who would bring these children into good homes. Last week I went to Hope City, the inner city ministry. I had such a lovely moment. I was chatting to this lady who was sharing her story. Just casual chitchat over the meal and she told me God had said to her that she was an ambassador. She asked me what it was and I explained to her what it is and how the Bible says we’re to be ambassadors of Christ. Another person came so we were interrupted, but when the interruption was over she brought the subject up again and was like “t...

I was sat in the prayer room on Tuesday in a “Worship with the Word” set, just hanging out with Jesus and enjoying reading the Bible and praying. It was such a sweet time and I was really enjoying it. Then someone on the team worship team (Jon Thurlow’s team) starts singing this chorus: “In the secret place it’s where my trust lies, it’s where my hope lies, where the Father is”. It was such a simple yet incredibly anointed chorus. We sang it for ages and it still lingers in my spirit. Finding the heart of the Father; not in the big meeting, or even in the prayer room, but that place of encountering Him in the secret place. When it’s just Him and me. And I was thinking about that yesterday and realising that when Jesus said to pray in Matthew, He said to “go into your room and shut the door”. The implication is that it is going somewhere private, not just closing your eyes in a crowd of people. Here at IHOP-KC we are as busy as ever. 4 nights a week we are having evening services as par...

Yesterday in our small group we listened to a message about the Spirit of Adoption. It was powerful and with everything that has happened recently it hits home even harder. God is a God of adoption, and if I am praying for life, praying for abortion to end, then the result is going to be that more babies are born into families that don’t want them or aren’t able to care for them. So what is the solution to that? Adoption. What if a million families decided to adopt one child each, imagine what that would do? That was one of the points put forth in the message. It seems almost impossible, yet so possible. On Saturday we had a memorial service here at IHOP-KC for one of the main advocates for adoption in our community. He was killed only 37 years old in a car accident just before Christmas. He didn’t just speak in favour of adoption, he lived it. Him and his wife had adopted 8 children, 3 with special needs. That is the heart of God. And God is a God of adoption. In the Bible it talks ab...

What does belonging somewhere mean anyway, is my questions? The past month I’ve been pondering this concept. I’ve had days when I feel really a part of everything, and then suddenly it hits me and I find myself feeling like an outsider; a foreigner on the outside looking in, not part, not belonging, not understanding, and not knowing how long I’m here for and where I’m headed. Some days I feel so fulfilled. Other days I look at my life and I feel content in God. Yet looking at my life outside of God it’s like “what am I doing?” What is life all about?” I want to live. I don’t want to confuse life and ministry again…but then living is ministering, so how does that all work? I haven’t found answers to my questions, but I know it is part of the journey. The journey with God, where ultimately what is important isn’t where I belong, but that I belong to Him. And in this I find peace. I can’t believe it’s been a month since I last wrote on my blog. Time just goes, and sometimes when there is...