Hearing stories and being a part of the journey.
One of my highlights these past weeks has definitely been to hear stories of what God has done and is doing. Getting to know the students that have been doing Shine and getting to journey with them for these six weeks has been such a privilege. I love hearing stories and seeing where people are headed on their unique journeys.
Beauty and loving.
The speakers of Shine have all had different journeys- some with God, most in the area of fighting injustice, and all have had such tremendous wisdom to impart. Two things that still linger with me as I sit here writing this (although there is so much more) are the importance of “doing beautiful things”; that when you work in such a dark area with so much hopelessness, the way to keep balance, survive really, is to make sure to take time to do things that bring life! The other thing was just a statement, but it struck me so deeply: “we don’t have to love the women (i.e. women in prostitution) more than other people.” I’ve never thought of it in quite that way before, but I think it can become so easy to have hearts filled with love and compassion for the broken God has put on our hearts, yet His commandment and desire is that we “love our neighbour”. I am meant to love every person I interact with, whether it’s the most broken person I’ve ever met, or an arrogant person I really don’t like. I am to love everyone, and walk in the love that is “patient, kind, keeping no record of wrong, that doesn’t get frustrated, that bears all things...” I feel so challenged to be even more intentional in this. I want to love better and I want my heart to be overflowing with the love I have received from God.
How do I “run this race”?
I’ve been so so busy these past weeks. Much more busy than I’ve wanted to be. I like having things to do, but I don’t like feeling like I’m rushing around. I don’t like not having time for people, which is ultimately what being busy seems to result in. Running Shine has definitely been a challenge, but I have learnt so much. And I hope I am finding a better rhythm. There might only be 10 days left, but I want to learn how to do this at a good pace. Today I had a good pace.
I have missed having more time in the Tabernacle, spending time gazing on Jesus. It has made me reflect and realize that the House of Prayer is more than just a way of doing ministry to me; it has to be a part of how ministry is done. How can I give out if I’m not being filled? How can I bring people to a deeper encounter with Jesus if I’m not taking the time to encounter Him myself? Is it possible to do both the traditional “ministry” and House of Prayer? Not side by side, but as one, a flow of encountering God’s heart and moving in response to that? I keep wondering what it looked like when Jesus said: “I only do what I see my Father doing”.
But I’m learning how to stay connected to Jesus “on-the-go”, and learning that when there’s no time to get fresh input, I can give from a well that is full. And I am learning that His grace is so completely and totally sufficient. And that He is enough at all times and in all situations.
The people of the city.
It was such a gorgeous day today. A bit nippy, but lovely to walk around the city. As I was strolling around (strolling, not speed-walking, which was a nice change) I was praying for the city and thinking about who are the people of this city.
As I walked along I noticed the tall, old man, with two long tufts of a greeny/gray hair which looked a bit like dread locks (not sure if they were intentional or not), who looked intently at the rubbish bags on the pavement.
I noticed the older lady on the pedestrian crossing who had such a look of confusion and anxiety in her face, as she held her arms tightly wrapped around herself. I wonder what her story is, and I hope there is some place she feels safe.
And the smaller, middle-aged man I was waking behind at the Rembrantplein. With his trousers stained and hair dishevelled. He had a backpack on his back and a strained look on his face. He was walking quickly with a limp. Yet it seemed more like he was trying to get away from, rather than heading to somewhere. It was such a contrast to the sidewalk cafes full of tourists enjoying a drink in the nice weather. I wonder what his life has been like. Has it always been hard? Is there somewhere that he calls “home” and feels like he belongs?
And pink. The group of girls in pink at the Niewmarkt square, all surrounding another pink girl who was trying to figure out some clue in what was probably one of the many bachelorette parties of the weekend. And the man who was walking so quickly wearing a pink t-shirt with the words: “4 things 2 do before my wedding”. I hope they are 4 things that will bring honour to his wife-to-be and will strengthen the foundation of the “rest of their lives” together....
My heart was so filled with compassion for all these people as I walked along. And then I realized: these are the people of the city. The happy tourists are the people. Those who come for a “last weekend of freedom” are the people. The anxious and confused and lonely- they are the people. And the poor and lonely- they are the people of this city. And since I live in this city (at least for now), these people, in some way, are my people now. They are the ones I am to seek the welfare of. They are my “neighbours” today.
Enough for now.