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Trying to get into the flow of the rhythm and reconnecting.

Tuesday 30 August 2011

I remember listening to a teaching about living a focused life, the idea being that if you plan your days well then you won’t waste time. It’s a great idea, but if you’re in Brazil, it doesn’t really work. It’s not really because people have a more relaxed relationship to time, which they do, but more the fact that things just take longer and relationships are so important.

So I am slowly trying to get into the flow of life here. Last week I found myself feeling rushed at times. I felt like suddenly the week was gone and I had been doing so many different things and hadn’t even had time to reflect on what had happened. I wonder if it’s just me, or if I am getting too much into the flow of ministry. I want to learn to live a balanced life. A life where the priorities are right and where the needs and ministry don’t take over, but where I use time in prayer which is where the real work is done.

It is a challenge though. A challenge to see how a change of rhythm to include prayer to a greater degree could be possible in a place like this where the need is never ending. I find that when I look at the work that is done here with my human mind, I see the circle of need which I lived for so many years, where I couldn’t see how anything could be stopped or let go of. It’s not like anyone is wasting time at all. But then I step back and I see that unless there is a stepping into prayer, then all the other “running” in ministry is going to wear people out.

So how can it work? I have no idea. I just know that I want to find they key. Maybe I know it already... but how to walk it out in practice, is different then knowing.

It’s a journey, for sure. A journey of life, leading to life!

On a different note, although connected, I went to the youth prison on Friday. It was so good!! I remember 8-9 years ago starting the ministry in the youth prisons. Being a young, foreign, blond, female was probably not the obvious choice for someone to pioneer a ministry into youth detention centres with Brazilian teenage guys. But God does take the foolish things to confound the wise, and I was a tad confounded myself by how God chose to do things. Over the years I worked here I the favour of God and found Him give me such a love and burden for these boys and girls, some who had committed the most violent of crimes. Anyway, when I left I gave it all to God but God kept it going and it has grown and moved forward. It’s such a testimony of Jesus!

So on Friday we went into one block at this youth prison and did a discipleship time with a smaller group of lads. It was interesting to see their desire to know more and their interest, yet at the same time see their fear of committing to something completely. My heart went out to them. I pray Jesus becomes real to them. After doing being in the one prison, we went by another one which I think was the first one I went to all those years ago. I popped by to say hello to the director who still remembers me even if it’s been almost 5 years since I left. It was so encouraging to hear how he basically has open doors to the project coming in and reaching the boys with the gospel. He himself said that it is Jesus they need, and I so agree! It encouraged me so much to see what God is doing. And in a sense see what was once my “baby” having grown into more then I could have imagined! This week I’ll be going to a few other youth prisons and I am really asking for God to use me, but also that I can know how to pray for the work that goes on there.

Saturday Andrew and Claudia, some really good friends of mine came to the farm to spend the weekend with their two gorgeous little girls. It was such a joy to see them again and reconnect! We, well the girls and some of the women here on the farm, went to the beach in the afternoon. I (slightly involuntarily) went into the sea and felt the warm sea water, collected some lovely shells, and had wonderful time just connecting and hanging out and chatting and enjoying being on the beach. I love the sea! We even popped by one of the beach front hotels which has a pool and I had a little swim (which was just perfect. I love swimming pools!). In the evening we went to “Centro das Tapioqueiras” which is a typical dish from here. It’s a thin pancake like thing made from mandioc root and it’s white and looks a bit like Styrofoam (but tastes nothing like, not that I’ve tasted Styrofoam). They fill it with different fillings, in my case I split two with my friend Marja, and ate half with cheese and “carne do sol” (which is a dried beef) and half with banana, cinnamon, and cheese. When I got it I thought the latter one was a tad dry and realised that the banana tapioca I used to eat when I lived here also had “leite condensado” (sweet condensed milk) on it, so I asked them to put some of that on it too. It was so delicious!! Absolutely perfect. One more thing to tick off my list of things I want to do and eat while I’m here (haven’t actually written the list yet, but it’s in my head).

A really good weekend! It’s so lovely to get to do ministry and reach out and reconnect my heart with the people and things I used to do when I lived, here, get to pray and get God’s heart for this place and what He’s doing, yet at the same time enjoy life and friends and take pleasure in being in this beautiful place, culture and nation.

I am so thankful to have this time here.

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