On a journey...

Walking home on the crunchy snow that lights up a December evening,  I felt so thankful. The revelation that fellowship and being together is the best gift you can give someone, and realising that although it might seem small, it can turn into something big when a person feels seen and valued.  Yesterday I helped out with a crafts workshop for a group of lovely women volunteering for Crux where I worked before (well, in all honesty: they were making angels while I ate Christmas cookies, Quality Street chocolate, and chatted). I love walking alongside people in conversation, and realise sharing life for 2 hours can last so much longer in value and experience.  This evening we had our Christmas dinner for volunteers and people who are part of my current job. It was a delightful evening with many nations gathered around the same table…. eating the same food… and for a few hours creating a small fellowship moment that will become a good memory for the future. Often in my job ...

I sat waiting for the train while drinking chocolate milk and eating what we call solbolle for lunch (which is a large cinnamon roll with custard in the middle). My heart was overflowing with gratitude and love, and such a deep sense of fellowship and “family”. I’d spent the morning drinking coffee at my old job at Crux , catching up with all the amazing people that make that fellowship and sense of togetherness what it is. Since many are fully vaccinated I got to give and receive quite a few good hugs. Hugs that communicate so much more than one can put into words. It was strange being back after 4.5 months, and yet it felt so very normal. Conversations on deeper levels, sharing victories and joys, and putting into words the good we see in each other, filled my heart until there was simply no more room. Waiting for the train it felt like my heart was overflowing. My new job is great. I love the team I work with, enjoy the challenges, and feel humbled by the privilege of being invited...

Drinking coffee and chatting, the reality that this is my final week lingered at the back of my mind. It made me appreciate the chats even more, and make sure I spoke out the good words I was thinking about those around me. After more then five and a half years at Crux, working with those building their lives after drug abuse and prison, it is time to move on. Not very far, but nevertheless bringing this season to a close. It’s been years of a lot of joy, celebrating progress and life, as well as times of mourning those who are no more, and despair over those who chose differently. And I am so very thankful. Thankful most of all for all the amazing people I’ve met. To have gotten to know people who have resilience, and who have survived in spite of incredible hardship and challenges that would cause most of us to give up. And yet they have fought and are stronger, and are incredible individuals who have changed who I am. I am thankful for all I have learnt from them, and for the privil...

“Where can I find life?” has been a question I have asked myself a lot recently (but really for years). And really the deeper question is: “What is life, and what does it look like?” I guess the simple answer is whatever makes you feel alive on the inside; that brings a smile to your face; and that gives you energy and increases your capacity. There are so many side-effects of burn-out; or maybe they are rather causes of burn-out, which when combined become a huge mountain that can topple even the strongest of people. But once you have been depleted of your capacity to stand in the face of the challenges around you, one of the things that can help increase your energy and capacity is finding pockets of life. (And of course a lot of other things like rest, exercise, patience when the process is slow, setting boundaries etc. but that’s for another blogpost). The past months I’ve been watching and searching and paying attention. Searching for choices that will bring life, and paying att...

To change habits and ways of life, the motivation for change has to be strong, and the benefits outweigh the effort it takes to make the change.  For so long it’s seemed like the ability to multitask has been regarded as a great skill, but is it really a good thing? Recovering from burn-out, one of the effects I noticed was that it was harder to concentrate, and especially tricky trying to focus on many things at once. I’d try to multitask, only to realise that all tasks suffered from lack of capacity to complete any one of them. The challenge is that the habit of always doing many things at once goes deep, and when I tried to focus on just one thing, I found that it was actually really difficult.  As I did a little google search on the matter, I found it seems like multitasking isn’t as healthy as once thought, and that it doesn’t help productivity. Some even referred to it as “switch tasking”, in the sense that the brain isn’t doing many things at once, but shifting rapidly...

“Do you really think it will go over?” A question posed as I was chatting to someone over coffee this week (with distance of course). My immediate response was that yes, I really do think it will go over, but I don’t know when or what it will look like. I don’t know when we’ll be back to “normal.” But to be honest, I am not sure I really want things to go back to being as they were before ... The past seven weeks have been so very different. Social distancing, staying one meter away from others, having permanently dry hands from antibac and washing hands a lot, and having to limit most interaction with others to a screen, have become part of everyday life. And of course the distance and isolating part of this “normal” I have no desire of seeing become part of the after . But at the same time I see good growing in this time of crisis; good that I do want to bring into the after , and what will become my normal when this crisis comes to an end. Time. Whether we like it or not, o...

A week ago we were sitting at work talking about how quickly the Corona situation was escalating. News of closed gyms and limited gatherings were there, and we were wondering what now. Only the day before we’d been open, and while taking the hygiene precautions and reminding each other to not hug or shake hands, there was a sense of support in each other, and normality was still there. Then suddenly it all changed. From being a crisis in China and Asia, then Italy, it had well and truly arrived in Norway. Friday morning we sat in our staff meeting. News of the closing of all schools and kindergartens for two weeks had come the evening before. We sat there with so many questions and few answers. The one thing we knew for sure was that this was a time to be available and present. A time to be proactive, and to make sure our people knew that we were there even if we weren’t open. That day we made many phone calls and sent messages and emails. Some were worried and needed reassurance,...

As I was filling in the registration card, and wondering how it would end up being typed into the computer, I glimpsed a lot of pink moving around in the area beyond the reception. The ceilings were elaborate and high, and people seemed focused and busy with the task at hand. The card was swapped for a wristband, which was fixed to my wrist with great efficiency. Then we were swiftly taken to sitting area in the middle of the bustle of activity. Not being told what would happen next, we sat there for a little, wondering “what now”. It was fascinating seeing pink ladies busy at work, and quite a few contentedly sitting around in little groups chattering away. After a little while, I decided that it would be a good idea to enquire at the second reception-like counter in the middle of the area as to how to proceed. This turned out to be a wise decision, as the lady I spoke to quickly found one of the registration-card-and-wristband ladies who whisked us over to a couple of chairs, pr...

Stepping out of the car the community looked the same. Graffiti, walls falling down, houses in different states of decay, and the ground an uneven mishmash of concrete and many attempts at construction woven together. As we walked down the familiar alleyways, paying attention to where we walked, I wondered if I’d see her. On our way we smiled and greeted young and old along the way, asking if she was still living in the same house, and the answer was “yes”, coupled with a friendly indication of the direction in which we were walking. Walking up to a small corner house, the door was shut, but we knocked on the door to see if she was home. Hearing affirmative sounds from within, we waited for her to come to the door. Another walk was walking into the wedding venue. It seemed so long ago, yet not that long, that we met on the streets. Now the young man coming towards us was dressed in a grey suit with his hair styled, and ready to say “yes” to his bride. Seeing him again, and being pre...

When your day-to-day is hectic and full, it is sometimes easy to forget and look forward to that which deserves a lot of “looking-forward-to”. On Monday I fly to Brazil. A trip I am and have been really looking forward to, but also a trip which has in moments be far from my thoughts, because the trip itself seems so far away. And now it’s almost here. I am going to visit a city which carries a place of home in my heart. When you live for years somewhere, I think it becomes part of who you have become, and ends up leaving a permanent mark on your life. Fortaleza is one of those places for me. A city I love. A city I lived in for seven years, which truly formed me, and was such a huge part of growing me into who I am today, and hopefully forming in a good way how I live and think and love people today. I am who I am today, because of who I became through living and working there. And now I am going back to visit. It’s been 21 years since I first set foot on Brazilian soil, 1...

“What was your dream when you were 20?” That was a question our guide asked us as we were standing outside a huge derelict cement monument in Tirana, the capital of Albania. We’d spent the day touring and hearing a lot about the history and journey of Albania, a young country with more Albanians living in other countries than in Albania itself. A country where tourism has only really been built up the past 30 years. It was eye opening to hear more of the history, and it made me realise that this country is so much more than meets the eye. A country where the beaches and tourist area of Durres Riviera was packed with tourists, mostly from the Balcan area. A country where hospitality is ingrained in the culture, and where the friendliness of the people was noticeable. After a pause to let us reflect over the question of dreams, for some thinking further back than others, our guide told us that for him it had been to own a pair of jeans. That simple fact said so much. Both of what he...

Stepping out from the plane into the comfortable warmth of 26 degree air was a promising start to a week of holiday. Sitting in the bus I noticed a pair of tiny knitted wool socks and a head of garlic hanging in the front window. Not sure if was for sentimental, touristic, or supersticious reasons, but it was an interesting sight.  The bus ride took us past flat landscape with new and old buildings side by side, and at times seemingly on top of each other. We saw the contrast between extravagant buildings, probably from years past, and houses with rusted roofs and a patchwork of materials to keep them together. Pepsi and Amstel were visibly advertised with huge billboards on the hillsides, and we'd spot familiar shop chains along the way. Entering the centre of Durres we were thankful we weren't driving, as the bus had to navigate packed streets and a variety of creative parking along the way. It felt like a mixture of tourism starting and a people going about their daily ...

“So often adults ask questions that go across. They need to ask downward questions.” With a lot of humour, yet a seriousness about it, the teenagers from Forandringsfabrikken (translates: the change factory) confidently shared from their lives and their experiences in being met by adults at challenging points in their lives. Forandringsfabrikken is a centre of knowledge here in Norway, where they gather knowledge from large amounts of children and teenagers in all kinds of situations and settings, and then write knowledge reports that are used when decisions are made that affect children and teens (laws, how things are done etc.). On their webpage they say that: “ Knowledge from children is summarised experiences and advice that isn’t linked to theory or analysis by adults.” It was a fascinating and very informative hour of hearing from the three teenagers who had so much to share, and a different perspective which I take with me. Not just into encounters with children and teens,...

The streets of Paris are dusty and stained. They are well worn by being walked on by millions of feet over centuries. Streets that lead people to where they are going, or away from somewhere they don’t want to be. Streets that connect buildings and people in a big city that is known throughout the world. We had been out to dinner at Au Bon Coin . The “meny-as-in-chalkboard-propped-on-the-chair” was in French, and French being a language foreign to me, I had no idea what was on offer. After trying to figure out what the different dishes were I chose one which turned out to be a veal stew. Flavourful but not necessarily something I would have chosen, yet (I think) it had an authentic taste of France. Coming back to the hotel and the tiny room with an interesting bathroom solution, we turned on the TV. It was surreal to see flames engulfing the Notre-Dame with headlines stating just that. Surreal to be in Paris on the very evening when such a national monument was severely damaged. ...

My heart is full. SHINE seems to be a running theme in life. This week we had the final evening of a course called SHINEWomen we’ve been running the past 6 weeks with some amazing women I work with. It was an evening of life. There was laughter, tears and a deep sense of fellowship. It’s been a privilege to journey with these women through looking at value, strength and purpose, and walk together in discovering dreams and purpose in life. I feel so honoured. Honoured that I get to invite them into truth that will bring freedom and build them up, and honoured to have an amazing team with me to create a space that is welcoming and a safe place to share joys and struggles. A place where each one can SHINE. It’s interesting how the last time SHINE was in my path was 5 years ago in Brazil when we were running the SHINE Seminar. In that Shine we were equipping people to minister in the area of the global sex trade and bring a Christian response. A different kind of shining. A shining of...

I still got flowers even if I didn’t go in this month. The flowers are in a vase on my kitchen table, and they remind me of beauty. Different types of flowers and green things which complement each other. The women had made them themselves in a flower decoration course, and had made bouquets specifically for us when they knew we were coming. It’s good to be reminded that lives are impacted; that what we do is making a difference, and that it’s individuals who are so different we are meeting. And that each one has their own beauty we are allowed to see if we look for it. Every month we organise a women’s evening in the prison and do wellness (facials, massages, footbaths, etc.). One of my favourite parts of my job, and an opportunity to invest in relationships, which might lead them one step closer to making it once they transition back to “normal life”. I am always amazed at what these women have in them of hopes and dreams... or the lack of thoughts about future, which gives me th...

I am lying in my bright orange hammock (from IKEA) on my veranda this evening, with the gentle rocking bringing a peace, and the cup of Earl safely placed on a little stool by my side. I am pondering this day. An exceptional spring day here in Norway, although the past week has been like this climate wise- and we are not complaining. Today was exceptional both because we’ve had 26 degrees (Celsius) heat, but also being Sunday, it provided a welcome opportunity to head out to the beach- my favourite place. My dad and brothers were busy with our cottage... the goal of the day was to move one large window, and put in two more on one of the walls- no small feat. And I had a lovely time hanging out with my mum, nieces and nephews, and sisters-in-law. Sitting on the beach and enjoying the sunshine brought me back associations of Brazil. In the midst of the craziness of streetkids, and all the chaos they lived in, the beach was always such a place of refuge and refreshing. I remember ...

Sometimes it’s hard to find words to put life into. Not necessarily because life is exceptionally good or bad, because it’s just life. And even if the day-to-day brings many reflections and processes with it, typing them out in a manner that is understandable beyond the author isn’t always as easy as thinking them. I love writing, and yet months have passed since updating this blog. A blog I write mostly as a reminder to myself of what my journey these years has looked like; because like most people I am prone to forgetting once something new fills up the space in my immediate memory. I am sat at my kitchen table. A half-written page of my journal lies next to me, and a vase of wilted tulips stand in front of me. On my wall I have a small selection of photos of loved ones and those I have met on some of my journeys. Faces that bring a smile to my heart. It’s Tuesday evening and as good a time as any for a short reflection... Today I was busy wrapping gifts to bring to our ...

It’s been a week of contrasts. From a wonderful Christmas party in prison, where we were moved to tears by songs of grace and the Christmas message; to continuing the tradition of baking Christmas cookies with old friends; to hearing that one of my boys (now adult) in Brazil is dead... I remember the 8 year old Paulo I got to know a little over 19 years ago at Minha Casa (a residential project for streetboys in Fortaleza). And I remember how my heart was wrecked by his desperate question of: “why do you have to leave, tia (auntie)?” as I was saying goodbye. Knowing him changed my life, and that moment changed how I viewed my future. It led me to ending up living in Brazil for most of my 20s because I didn’t want to be one who “left”, but be one who was stable and safe. Now that little boy turned adult is no more. He had a beautiful smile, a contagious personality and was so very easy to love. And he was so very loved by all of those who had the privilege of knowing him. I pr...

It’s amazing how much living and experiencing can be packed into just a week. As I let my mind wander back to the past week, I remember the cracked and dry ground in the mountains, the tagine (meat and vegetables cooked in a clay pot with a pointy lid) eaten with bread (i.e. no cutlery), the sugary hot tea, bantering at the market, fresh pomegranate juice, and of course, the incredible beauty of the people. A week of living in Morocco. As I stepped off the airport and felt the warm evening air hit my face, I felt such joy. Walking towards the airport terminal I was struck by the beauty of the sandy coloured lattice which adorned the outside of the building. Passing through all the customary steps to enter a country, I was impressed by the friendliness of the people, and as I was hugged meeting my friends picking me up, I knew this was going to be a good week. Marrakech. It was fascinating seeing small carts overflowing with pomegranates on every corner, and as I took ...